Happy Force Furiday
(See what I did there? Fur. Porgs have fur. Porgs.)
Just shy of 100 days off Last Jedi, I’d like to reel off some of my musing and predictions for the film. Each conjecture will be rated on how much presence the Porgs will have in this plot line.
Ready? Okie dokie.
Obligatory Flashback #1
Using that nifty de-aging mumbo jumbo, we’ll see young Han, Luke and Leia getting chatty only a few years after Return of the Jedi. They’re talking about Luke’s swanky new Jedi training temple, whilst young Kylo and Rey run around like little scamps.
Porg Presence: The entire scene is re-enacted with Porgs.
Jedi Murals in Ahch-To
Rey will be understandably reluctant to start learning an ancient religion from a father who abandoned her on Jakku nervous about this whole becoming-a-Jedi thing, so Luke needs something to coax her into it.
He’s already been doing some digging with his friends the Porgs and shows her some ancient underground caves with murals depicting old Jedi things, like Snoke doing bad things and this will probably establish a prophecy that will pay off in Episode 9. But he’s only willing to go so far inside and at the half way point in the film, Rey has another Force vision and probably sees Yoda or Obi Wan.
Or maybe a new character, wouldn’t that be bonkers?
It’s left ambiguous if the prophecy is about Kylo Ren or Rey.
Porg Presence: The Porgs will dot around here whilst Rey and Luke argue about the Force and bad parenting. One will probably sit on Luke’s lap.
Chewbacca & the Falcon’s finest hour
So throughout Rey’s revelations, Chewie is just sat in the Falcon doing very little. He’s the first character we see interacting with the Porgs and there’s running comic relief moments between him, R2-D2, and the Porgs getting in each others way.
There’s a funny moment where Chewie opens the hatch and finds Porgs inside.
The Falcon will be purposefully idle for about two hours but when Rey needs to rush off to aid her friends, the Falcon helps her in a fantastic space fight set piece during which it sacrifices itself to save her and all Porgs inside.
Porg Presence: Intense Porgs.
Han Solo’s fun, fun, Funeral
Led by Leia and what the hell, Kylo Ren shows up with Captain Phasma in a ‘I’m not here to cause any harm’ way but it all ends in tears.
Porg Presence: One Sad Porg, on Leia’s shoulder, for the whole scene.
Finn & Rose’s Big Day Out
Finn wakes up from his coma after the time jump and he and his new lady friend, Rose, infiltrate a First Order base for reasons.
Porg Presence: Finn is awoken from his coma by being tickled by a hundred Porgs.
Kylo Ren visiting the old Jedi temple thingamabob
Kylo Ren does some travelling, son. He visits the old Jedi temple where Luke trained him and where he and the Knights of Ren ruined everything. Did somebody say
Obligatory Flashback #2
Probably a lot more of this stuff.
Porg Presence: During the flashback, a Porg watches on mournfully.
Whose Star Destroyer is it Anyway?
Get ready for crazy antics and wacky hijinks! This is a three way odd couple sitcom between Kylo Ren, General Hux and Supreme Leader Snoke. Highlights include:
- An arguments over who drank the last of the blue milk
- Kylo being passive agressive about who put their golden robes in the white wash and
- Hux working up the courage to ask one of the Praetorian Guards on a date but unsure what gender they are
Porg Presence: Snoke has a pet Porg who is staying at home because it doesn’t like flying. He talks to it over hologram and the Porg appears fifty feet tall.
Galactic Downton Abbey
There’s some pretty fun contrast between the gritty Level 1313 stuff with DJ and the space opera antics with Laura Dern’s character. Leia is both street smart and regal so she understands both worlds.
Poe tags along with her but goes off on his own secret mission.
Porg Presence: Laura Dern has a Porg on her lap which she strokes and says ‘I’ve been expecting you.’ whenever a new character enters the scene.
jobi-wan 